i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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