Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
