so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
