i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
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