Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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