**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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