dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
