its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
