What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
