Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
