first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
