i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
