the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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