Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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