Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
