Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
