I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
