That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
