Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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