Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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