school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Randomize
