I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
