I'm so fucking centered right now
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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