i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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