Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
