all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
