so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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