if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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