You work out of a Hotel?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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