I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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