I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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