think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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