butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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