i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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