bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
