Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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