so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
