You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
