you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
