i jhust puked up my retainher.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
