Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
if only i could text you this smell
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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