All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
