Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
