thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
