You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
