You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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