have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
