Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
