what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Randomize
