I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
