Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
