What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
