Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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