i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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