Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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