I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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