he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
