I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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