Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
