Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
