so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
