At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
